What is self love?

This post is written while kind of having a little epiphany, so it’s just as much for me as it is for you.

What is self love? How do we show ourself love?

Coming from a past of a difficult relationship with food it’s been easy for me to pare food and self-love together. Since I was restricting my calories, candies and everything you can think of for years, I started seeing “eating whatever I want” and “doing only what’s fun” as an act of self love. Which it is – to some degree. But it doesn’t stop there.

Self love means caring for yourself.

It means having your own back, treating yourself as if you were your own child. That’s a cliche thing to say, but it’s true. What would I do if I had a child? A little girl? I would feed her the most nourishing delicious tasting foods I knew of, dress her in clothes she felt beautiful in, take her to the hairdresser when she needed to, brush her teeth, put her to bed at a decent time, take her out to play, explore in nature, make sure her friends are treating her well, telling her how absolutely gorgeous she is.

Some of these things are straight up fun, while others, like going to bed and brushing our teeth, isn’t always done because we’d love to. It’s done because we want to feel good – forever.

And I’ve read and heard about this a million times, but not until now have I really taken it to heart, and understood what it looks like. Especially when it comes to giving myself what I need to thrive.

Here are a few things I’m going to focus on now – to show myself love in ways I haven’t really before:

Take myself on adventures.
Yes, I just got home from Bali, and I’ve been backpacking a few times before. But I’m talking about those tiny everyday adventures that spice up our days. Go hiking in the woods, attending party’s, having dinner with friends and family, throw some frisbees, go on cafe dates, going to the movies, take the train to my favourite city, road tripping with my little sister, visit friends in Europe and other parts of Norway.

Get dressed.
I’m working from home so it’s super easy to throw on a pair of sweatpants, a baggy t-shirt and call it an outfit. Is it comfy? YES. Do I feel beautiful? Yes, but not really. I think getting dressed in the morning, even though I don’t have to, will make me feel good and even make me do better at work.

Have a beautiful home-environment.
I’ve always loved decorating and known the value of having surroundings that motivates and distresses me. But to be honest I’m not the best to take care of it. I want to put more effort into washing my bedsheets more often then I need to, just because it’s the best feeling. Same with my clothes, and cleaning my room in general. Vacuum often, wipe dust, water the plants and tidy. It’s not too much fun itself, but leaves everything more beautiful.

I’ve come to a place where I genuinely feel beautiful without makeup. But I dont think it’s healthy to “not give a fuck” all the time anyways. This kind of builds on the get dressed point. Just let myself spend money on new and exciting makeup products – and wearing it more often. Get a hair-mask and make a habit of using it. Shaving my legs although it’s winter. Wearing perfume even if I’m not going out. Take a shower in the morning even if I dont have to, just because it feels good. Getting my favourite toothpaste and start flossing for real. Getting a proper haircut and straighten my hair in the morning – just because I love how it looks.

Make sure I’m healthy.
Getting the supplements I need – although it’s expensive. Drinking enough water, and making a proper breakfast. Eating my greens and staying away from junkfood most of the time.

I thought I had the whole self love thing down, but apparently we all have something to work on most of the time.

Also, keep in mind there’s a big difference between doing this out of love or out of fear. We don’t want to “better ourselves” because we want to be worthy of someone else’s / societies approval, but because we care and want the best for ourselves.


Anne-Line Erlandsen

Anne-Line Erlandsen, a 28 year old girl from Norway. I'm a certified holistic health coach studying marketing, and with this website I put my ass where my heart wants to be – in writing, self expression and creativity.