What you’re about to read is a blogpost I wrote exactly a year ago, but for some reason it’s been left chilling in “drafts” since then. I stumbled upon it today and thought hey, let’s put it out in the universe. Definitely still stand by all of it.
April 24th 2017:
I recently reposted an old blogpost about my experience with anxiety (you can read it here), and in one of the last paragraphs I wrote that my goals in life has changed. Since some of you asked what my goals are now, I thought I would write a little bit about it today.
Not skinny but happy
One of the reasons why I got anxiety at the time that I did, was because I restricted my calories and was very strict with myself, the way I looked and “performed” in life. I’m not kidding when i say that the last 5 months or so up until my first panic attack I thought about food and my physical appearance every second of the day. Now my goal is not to be as skinny as possible – it is to be happy. I just want to be happy! No matter what that looks like to me, that’s what I want. I know that when I eat healthy, exercise, meditate and laugh, that makes me feel good and alive in the long run. So that’s why I do it.
Be a kind person
I just want to be kind to absolutely everyone. Not that I was a particularly ‘bad’ or bitchy person before, but still. My anxiety really taught me the lesson of being kind to myself, and when I saw the value of that, it made me want to be nothing but kind and loving towards everyone else as well.
Do work that I love
My family has always been very open minded around work, and encouraged me to study and do things that I’m passionate about. But as a teenager I was very much in the mindset of getting a lot of money by doing hard work I don’t necessarily like. After working a lot on myself I realised that the reason I wanted money was because I wanted to buy things/feel safe, which would eventually lead me to a state of happiness. My goal now isn’t about the money, it’s about going straight to the happiness part. Life is a unique gift, and for me, wasting 50% of my days doing something I’m not passionate about – it just isn’t what I want anymore. My goal is to earn a living on something I truly love.
With my own healing came a passion for helping others as well. I want to spend my time on this planet making other people feel good, and with my own experience show people a different way of doing just that. My goal is to leave everyone I meet happier than when I met them.
If you see hardships and bumps in the road as blessings, you can learn so much about yourself and how you want to live your life. I’m forever grateful for anxiety and all the big and tiny ways it changed me.